The GP I saw On Friday was such a wonderful young woman I wanted to hug her. I talked about lots of things, cried a bit and agreed to try HRT. Then I started wittering on about how I need to tackle exercise and diet but I’m just so tired all the time and she said:

“Hold on. We are trying to put out a forest fire here, we aren’t ready to plant trees”. I swear she deserves every success and of course a bleedin payrise…

So I’ve started to try and tackle the flames and whacked the patch on my leg. Which made me cry. Because I’m pleased I’m doing something about it, and because I don’t feel young anymore, and because, well, I’m perimenopausal. It’ll take a while to make a difference which isn’t a surprise but I secretly hoped the effect would be like Popeye eating spinach. No such luck. I ache, I’m so so tired, and I feel sad. Time will tell.

Today is Mother’s Day. I’ve been given books, sweets, a hedgehog house and a crocheted Moomin, along with cards with thoughtful messages that (what a surprise) made me cry. Then I remembered there is probably only one more mother’s day where both kids are at home and that made me cry as well. I wonder if I could hook my emotions up to a generator of some sort to reduce the electric bill.

Anyway, one day at a time. This day involves Sunday lunch, sunshine, jigsaws and hugs. Even if my body is a bit crap that’s still a very good day.

edited to say it’s now Tuesday and everything hurts. My heart (i feel sad), but also oh my god my hips and my joints. I feel dizzy and weird and I know it’s not only because I’ve been awake since 4.45am. Just noting this for future reference as I really really hope things turn a corner soon. Sigh.

I just went back up and put a question mark at the end of ‘progress’…

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