It’s been a tough week.
I didn’t make myself go and do the things I should have done, but I’m determined not to beat myself up. The truth is I’m better in the middle of the day so getting my work done reasonably well in the day time, and watching Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse fish in the evenings was the right thing this week. Hopefully next week I will feel I can pull myself off the sofa in the evening but it’s ok if I don’t. It’s ok if you don’t either.
There were some moments of joy. I saw my colleagues this week which was positive and fun. I delivered workshops with a backdrop of a football pitch. I bought a jumper that makes me look like a children’s TV presenter for £10 in a sale, and a £1 candle to make my living room smell of Autumn. I planted cheap bedding plants in empty pots to cheer up my morning coffee in the garden, and sat in the sun listening to Adam Buxton. I gave myself a sense of achievement by paying my car tax and unblocking the shower. On my day off I chatted to people I care about and ate lemon meringue pie. I walked around the park drinking coffee with a friend. I finished a book and started a new one. I made risotto and drank lots of tea. I wrote in my planner and did crossword puzzles. I drank more tea.
I wish I lived by the sea. I think the waves would help my mind right now, but I’ll settle for the view of the hills, birds on the feeder and a blue sky. And hopefully some sleep.