Well Isn’t This Fun?

Things were going so well that yesterday clearly thought it would just add in a bit of excitement and mild agony because…why not?

It started with a regular trip to the orthodontist for T – which apart from resulting in the usual pain for her should have been stress free for me and just meant I had to start work a little late. As we set off the snow was falling but since it hasn’t tried very hard of late and had been sleet on the forecast I thought it would be fine. It was just about fine until we got about a mile from home on the way back. My car (despite being the cheapest and most reliable second hand car in existence) is crap in snow – a fact I had forgotten. I struggled to get up the slight incline into the village and slid across the crossroads with my hand firmly pressed on the horn as that was the only thing I could actually influence. Not that it influenced the only other car on the the road which nearly hit me, probably because it couldn’t stop either. After five more near misses with parked cars and stationary objects we managed to get to the bottom of the hill where I thought the bigger road would be clearer. It was, until I came back off to come up our road. The steepest bit suddenly looked a lot steeper and my car clearly decided that backwards was a better option than forwards. At one point it was moving backwards when both brakes were on and I genuinely thought my car, and my neighbours lovingly planted winter pansies ,were definitely a gonna = along with the sanity of my eldest daughter. I rang my other half to help – not that I’m sure what I thought they could do – and then abandoned my car somewhere near the pavement half way down the hill.

Unfortunately while we’d been out my husband and youngest daughter had been battling another problem – water spurting out all over the bathroom and pouring through the kitchen ceiling. I mean we did need to wash the floor, but not so much the brand new chairs or the half finished projects on the side in the kitchen. The mopping was done, the water turned off and I went next door to fill the kettle. Our plumber of course had sensibly abandoned all his jobs and gone home for fear of crashing his van. He tried valiantly to help us fix the problem using What’s App video which was very effective at diagnosing the problem but somewhat unsurprisingly we failed on the having the right washer to fix it part. A couple of hours of frantic plumber contacting (ours eventually even offered to drive from Handsworth despite the fact that it clearly wasn’t sensible) and the trusty road What’s App group yielded a plumber who lives on the next road along. Once he’d been, the water was mopped and we’d radiator dried 6 place mats, 6 dining chairs, a half constructed automaton and Alexa (nothing damaged), we thought things were finally looking up.

Apart from the fact that I was going to have to cancel our food order which I eventually managed after a phone call where I was somewhat ironically in the queue for twenty minutes and on hold for ten (queuing of course being exactly what click and collect should avoid). This left us with less food than we’d like on a snowy day. Last week I was stuck in Morrisons car park with a flat battery, this week I couldn’t even make it to the car park. Fortunately due to Brexit we’ve got enough flour and soup in the garage to get is through – I’ll just have to bake a cake and worry about the apocalypse another time.

This should have been the start of things getting back to normal, apart from the fact that I’ve damaged a muscle in my back and it was really starting to hurt – probably exacerbated by the ferocity with which I’d been gripping the steering wheel. I missed out on playing in the snow – P Facetimed me while the others sledged in the dark – and I finished the day somewhat knackered.

It’s a day later and I’m up early with no chance of doing my regular work out due to not being able to freely move my neck. I’m sitting here trying not to the think about the fact that the car is quite far away from my house and when it inevitably won’t start in the next few days I’ll have to use What’s App yet again to find a neighbour to jump start it, because our charging cable is definitely not long enough. I’ll have to spend today baking a cake that doesn’t require much physical intervention, and doing the Kilimanjaro sized piles of washing very slowly, interspersed with watching Bridgerton with a hot water bottle on my back – things could still be worse.

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