Small Wins

It’s important to celebrate the small wins.

We all have good and bad days. Thursday was a bad day for me. I finished work and just collapsed on the sofa. I couldn’t bring myself to get excited about fireworks because I hadn’t remembered to buy any. I cried, because I felt sad. I imagine it being the first day of the second ‘lockdown’ contributed – a sense of history repeating itself and very little light at the end of the tunnel. The annual November blues that always hit me even when I hold up a rubber shield in the hopes they bounce off like Captain America. The fear of a second Trump presidency. I can’t even say what it was but I was inert and sad. My kids hugged me and said it was all ok. Paul made me tea. I felt worse because I still hadn’t bought fireworks and then went to bed before everyone else.

The next day things were better. I felt ok. We decided to plan a bit for the month to make sure that we didn’t disappear down a TV rabbit hole. The sky turned orange and we noticed.

We joined in an online quiz with friends that included Lego recreations of movies – it was a very good Friday night.

I asked my other half to come for a run with me on Saturday. This is madness as I knew I would inevitably come home feeling very unfit as he trotted along behind me without even a healthy glow while I sweated my butt off. But it didn’t even wind me up that much. We lost count of the people who said ‘hello’, the sun shone through the trees like some kind of painting, and I made him go to Tesco and catch me up the last bit because I wanted to get to 5K and he’s much better at running carrying pesto than I am.

While the kids were online Razzing we set the house up like our local Games Cafe. We drew up a menu of food and a menu of games and put a sign on the door. Yes a laminator was used. I put drinks out, prepared nibbles, lit candles and showed them to their table. We played boardgames for two and a half hours, punctuated with paninis and Quality Street. It was daft and silly and just what we needed.

P and I made foccacia (from a packet clearly) which we devoured before watching the next Marvel movie which was actually surprisingly entertaining. We toasted a future without Trump as President. It had been a good day.

This morning we planned a photo challenge walk. We dragged the kids out of the house after a bacon sandwich and walked about for two hours in the fog which never for one moment lifted. We took lots of foggy photos, walked about in the mist then came home for a roast.

Tonight we lit the chiminea (like everyone else did on Thursday). We put potatoes wrapped in foil in the bottom (I’d cooked them earlier obviously, I’m not insane). I made bread dough from the National Trust website and we set fire to chopsticks while trying to cook it over the fire. We ate potatoes out of tin foil on our knees without being able to see. It rained a bit. We did a crossword and talked.

There will undoubtedly be tough days in the next month, and longer ahead than that. I will have days when I feel sad and so will everyone else in the house. We’ll be tired, frustrated, angry, bored, upset, just flipping low – because that’s life. But this weekend has been a good one. Plus I got up early and finished my book which means tonight it start a new book night. It’s a good start to the week. I hope your weeks have fog, flames and books in them too. x

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