I feel like I should have marked my mood out of ten over the last 4 months. Might have made an interesting graph.

Last week was flipping awful. My days off were unproductive and sad. I cried quite a bit. There are specifics that made things even more difficult than previous weeks but overall I just didn’t feel like I had the energy – emotional or physical – to power through it without collapse. Despite living with my beautiful family I felt lonely. Despite having plenty to do I felt bored. Despite sleeping I felt tired. On it goes. I dipped at the end of the week – the food I cooked wasn’t great and I ate the things that give me a headache. I had a headache for three days…it’s not rocket science. I dragged myself up by my rarely worn bootstraps.

I made a few decisions at the weekend. Dragging us all out of the house more. Planning and meeting up with friends albeit in a series of gardens. Napping and not feeling guilty. Talking more.

Since then we have harvested carrots and made carrot top pesto. I’ve braved the hairdressers. I’ve finally reached 30 minutes running on Couch 2 5 k. We’ve drunk a lot of tea. I’ve finished reading a book. We went on a long walk in the rain. P made banana bread and we ate it by a stream. A 16 month old made me smile. I made some plans for the summer. I went into work. We booked a trip to a National Trust property.

Two weeks until the school holidays – both back to school in September apparently. Take a deep breath and plough on.