How did this happen then? One minute I have toddlers the next I’m watching my youngest catch a bus to secondary school with the obligatory lump in my throat.
Of course I’ve had this when my eldest left primary, but even though I found that really hard this feels different. Suddenly I have a lot less handle on what they are both going through. I get what they choose to tell me (which is thankfully quite a bit) but I don’t chat to the parents anymore – indeed I have no idea who many of them are – and I can’t run something past a teacher without going through the head of year and waiting for a response to my emails. I’m detached.
She’s ok, my youngest – despite being on the other side of the school from her best friends and having to introduce herself with the difficulty of twin blocks which is no mean feat. We had a fair amount of tears initially and making new friends is tricky. After years of having a big group of friends things are definitely different, but she’s giving it a go. And that’s in spite of regular mention being made of her sister by every man and his dog which would be enough to wind anyone up.
She’s still playing music, and joined the drama club, so her confidence seems more stable than I worried. Plus we now have two school councillors in the family which officially makes both my kids more professional than I am.
The whole thing has added a fresh layer to my mid life crisis. I’m so grown up now that I’ll be the parent of an adult in 4.5 years. What the hell? I’m listening to podcasts about personal growth and thinking about things. Not that I’ve actually made any changes but baby steps as usual.
I’m proud of my girls – they are growing up so fast into special young women. I want them to be proud of me though so a bit more thought about my own growth won’t go amiss.