I evidently upset a man yesterday. I emailed him to tell him that his application for a position had been unsuccessful. I did not point out that this was in the most part due to the fact that he had no relevant experience and his personal statement was severely lacking. I simply politely said we had considered his application and decided he would not be being offered an interview. I send lots of these emails and have been on the receiving end of some in my time. It’s not my favourite part of what I do.
I opened my email this morning and saw his name in the messages received. Ah, I expected he would want feedback. I just had an inkling he might be a little unusual. From the fact that he had not completed the address section of the additional form but simply put “it is none of your business”.
He didn’t ask for feedback. He simply said:
“How dare you reject me when you haven’t even met me. Get back in the kitchen woman. Delete my details immediately. I will never apply to you again.”
Yep. That noise you made then, that shocked gasp, that’s the noise everyone since has made, including me. That’s before I burst into tears a little bit. My manager made that noise. As did all the other managers. It’s the kind of thing you hear about in films but are confident people don’t actually think.
My wonderful supportive manager rang him. She is a braver woman than I am. I don’t think he’ll be contacting me again.
Of course he doesn’t know me. It wasn’t a personal attack. He’s an oddball. But I was still offended which is weird because it’s a ludicrous email to receive.
But it’s also an odd thing to be on the receiving end of as a woman who left work and stayed home with her kids for 7 years. Not that I spent a great deal of that time in a kitchen.
I need some time to process what I think. It could turn into a bit of a rant about women having the right to choose. Or everyone’s right not to be verbally abused. Or the bravery of small people with access to computers. But for now, I’m just writing it down. Because I still can’t quite believe it happened.
Sufficed to say we are very disappointed he is no longer interested in our organisation.
He should be bloomin' grateful to get a reply when the norm is to hear nothing at all. Having dealt with blatant sexism at work I've found it very empowering to challenge them back (after all its me or pay privately) and they do usually start to blush and stutter and feel stupid. I find it is often ladies of a certain age as well as men. I do need a pep talk first and a quiet cuppa after though 😉 VB x