Downbeat update

I am simply writing this one from a record point of view. Just in case anyone ever wants to know how long it took to recover and to remind myself.

It’s been exactly a week since I was discharged and I thought I was getting much better. I woke two mornings ago with very little pain. But every day since has been worse again. It’s not agony by any means – I have reduced my painkillers considerably – but I have pretty much constant discomfort in my lower abdomen – so much so that I stoop forward when I walk. I know it is better than it was and am not being negative, I simply want to write this all down.

I am also completely knackered. I have napped at some point every day so far and I have very little energy. I could go to sleep again now if it were’t for the fact I have already “rested my eyes” for an hour this morning and to do it again seems like a bad idea.

At the same time I’m grumpy because I’m frigging useless. I can’t help and it’s driving me a bit nuts.

I can also feel my stitches – not all the time but sometimes and it makes sitting upright a challenge.

But worse than all these things is that I can’t be with the kids enough. We did Lego together yesterday but I couldn’t help find the pieces or put models together because I couldn’t get down on the floor. On Sunday I missed watching Tilly sing in a church service. And tonight she gets an award from Sheffield Children’s University and I can’t go. Her dad and Grandad will but I can’t. And that’s the stuff I most definitely usually do. Even on school photo day on Friday I feel like I’m letting them down by not waiting with them in line for their sibling shot. My Mum will do it I’m sure, but I’d rather it was me.

So there you go. It’s a bit of a downbeat post. I was going to write about daytime television but I’ll save that for a day when I’m feeling more amusing. Maybe I will have another little sleep…

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