Moan Moan Moan

I apologise in advance for this. Traditionally it’s men who can’t handle illness. Man flu and all that.

But today it’s me. I’m moaning.

It flipping hurts. When I swallow, talk and well just all the time. I’m wappy, dizzy, tired, hot, blah blah.

Now I appreciate in our house it is a bit different. Paul doesn’t moan about anything much. If he complains of being ill he is REALLY poorly. I am much more of a lightweight. This I accept. But I just can’t stand having a horrendous throat. Anything that stops me drinking, eating and talking doesn’t sit too well with me. So I went to see the nurse and took Tilly too since she is still poorly poor thing.

The nurse saw me first and said things like “your glands are a little up”. A little? Are you kidding me? Also “your ears are a bit red”. Yep keep it coming, just a bit then. “You have a bit of a temperature”. Do you fancy using another adjective to describe my symptoms? One that actual matches the pain I’m in? And the piece de resistance “your throat is just a bit red”. It can’t be just a bit red. It feels like it’s full of razorblades.

So I considered myself resoundly patronised.

Then she looked at Tilly who she told much of the same on Monday but who now apparently has tonsillitis. At this point she said: “Ah, well since Tilly has tonsillitis there is a chance you will get it in a few days. You’ll have to see how you go. You probably came a bit quick”. Oh flipping brilliant.

Now I know you shouldn’t have antibiotics unless you need them. I also know I am not a doctor, or a nurse. BUT SURELY ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE? Even the pharmacist looked surprised she hadn’t prescribed. The nurse basically said: you are a bit ill, go away and you’ll probably get iller. Cheers.

The good news is that by gargling with warm salt water every day several times there is a slim chance I might be able to see off bacterial infection. Oh yum.

And poor Tilly has that minging medicine for ten days which will include Christmas Day. We’ve invested in a bag of Fruit Salads.

Plus of course if I do get prescribed antibiotics I will be having my first dry Christmas in many years…

So goodwill to all men/women. Apart from those who don’t prescribe me medicine. Bah humbug.

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