I’m sure it was partly the University of York open day, the preparations for a long trip abroad for my eldest, the long drive and walking around, and even watching the genuine pleasure my 15yo got from painting gel nails that contributed to an emotional wobble at the weekend. It think it unlikely that my HRT patch dropping off affected my emotions that quickly so it must have been the other stuff.

Traditionally you are supposed to find parenting teens challenging. We do have some challenges of course – but not so much the more expected stuff (although I am embarrassing as a general rule). But honestly I’m genuinely enjoying it and the impending sense of loss when I think too hard about what comes next is really tough. Their independence of course is what you had them for, if you think past the maternal desire to have a cute little baby that loves you more than anything, creating independent wonderful humans is ultimately the reason. And watching them – one making decisions for higher education and getting ready to get on a nine hour flight alone; and the other confidently holding a stage on her own, growing in emotional intelligence by the minute and stepping out of the door each morning looking more like an adult than I do now (never mind what I looked like in 1990) – I feel proud of course. But oh my word it’s hard sometimes. Hard to still juggle the complicated requirements of their lives, encourage them to pick up after themselves, help them manage their calendars, encourage revision, support their emotional wellbeing, help them plan for the future as well as the now; and enormously hard to not be scared yourself about what they are doing. But hardest still is the peek into the future – one where there are two of us at home not four.

My Dad told me when T went to preschool that parenting was one long letting go. How true that is.